Everyone is naked except me...

I am the first one to admit that I don't walk around my house naked. Its not like I am trying to hide anything or worried that my kids might see me or even that I might walk by a window and scare the shit out of the many neighbors that walk their dogs behind our house. I am just way more comfortable in my clothes and I am generally always somewhat cold so clothes provide that nice hug of warmth that I need to go about my business in the house. This tendency doesn't change no matter where I go. When I'm a guest in someone's house and the shower I use might is in a hallway, I will use a towel to get to and from my room and not risk going streaking in front of one of said house's occupants. I never feel quite safe prancing around in my birthday suit in a hotel room because, let's face it, LOTS of people other than me have a key to the room I am staying in. And then there is the gym. Even though the gym towels they provide barely cover the parts that make me a girl, I try my hardest to get out of my sweaty clothes or wet bathing suit, into the shower and then dressed again with only minimal exposure of all my body parts. I am quickly realizing that at my gym, my desire to cover up most definitely places me among the minority. In all the gyms I've ever worked or worked out at, it was rare to see anyone in the locker room above the age of 10 cavorting around naked. I've lived in LA, Atlanta, Austin and parts of Florida and never really experienced quite the freedom to which the Boulder gym clientele feel while moving about the locker room. In fact, in my former Florida residence, one of my closest friends refused to use our gym's locker room because she once went in there to use the bathroom and while coming out of a toilet stall, as she recalled, encountered "full on bush" from an older woman who was apparently in the process of being coached by her water aerobic friends that she needed to cover up after her shower and not parade her 80 year old body around for all to see. When I'm 80, if I'm still rockin' the body this lady was, I will walk around the MEN's locker room naked. The truth is the nudity in the locker rooms has never really bothered me. I can even find it inspiring and enlightening that all body types feel comfortable enough to be in their natural state around others. But doesn't anyone else feel like modesty should come back into fashion these days? Why does it feel like everyone is naked except me? Is everyone else really that comfortable with the state of their body that they are open to it being looked at by strangers or the woman you do burpees next to each week in the cardio class which is perhaps even worse since you now have some sort of causal relationship. Like I said, other people's nudity doesn't make me cringe so maybe I should take their lead and give it a try. But what you will never see me do is the shit that would make my friend back in FL run screaming back home. It is the women that stand around and have a 15 minute conversation with their friend while in the buff. Really? Neither one of you feel self conscious or is it more of a dare to see who will cave first and put on some underwear. It is the woman who decides she needs to do everything from lotioning up, drying her hair, putting on her make up and taking a cell phone call all while her towel is being used as a bath mat instead of a bathrobe. I get it, gym room locker floors are gross, but you are better off putting your mascara on AFTER you have already pulled a shirt over your head! My favorite is the woman who props her leg up on the counter and proceeds to shave her legs by the sink. I wash my hands in that same sink you are putting your feet: I'm not cool with that! I guess this could be all my issue and I am just behind the times, but I am going to continue to use the locker room as a simple transition zone. I go in there in order to get out of there with as minimal exposure of my butt and boobs as possible. And maybe I will remain in the minority or perhaps all the cool kids will become modest like me. Take a gander in the men's locker room in 40 years and you might just find out.

Starting again

Today I realized that I REALLY need to start getting my thoughts out again. Hopefully with some humor mixed in with a little spice and at times a dash of serious. Back in the day when life was simple with only 2 kids and a husband who worked full time, I began this blog in hopes of letting go of some of the feelings of worthlessness that accompany being a stay at home mom. I truly wish I had know what was coming down the pipeline so I could tell myself to chill the hell out but alas, who does? We are all driving blind in this world, trying to do our best, and sometimes things work out, sometimes they don't. In my case, I am positive that this is NOT the path I wanted my life to take but I choose to take the good with the bad, make some sweet ass cookies out of these random life ingredients (because making lemons out of lemonade is too cliche) and laugh along the way. This blog is dedicated to my random thoughts as I attempt to be a mom, wife, bread winner, housekeeper, athlete, baker and still find time to shower. I hope to write on a regular basis about things that make me laugh, topics that concern me and general questions that I can't seem to solve. I can't wait to write about my first topic tomorrow: locker room etiquette! A warning, this shit is going to get real and by getting real I mean I don't understand the habits of naked women walking around public locker rooms like its their own personal bathroom. Be forewarned: I'm going to be mentioning boobs, tampons and pubic hair so if you're squeamish, you might want to skip this one! Until tomorrow....